Business Management      People who reach the top of the tree are only those who haven't got the qualifications to detain them at the bottom. -- Peter Ustinov -- Not even computers will replace committees, because committees buy computers. -- Edward Shepherd Mead -- Quality Products and Quality Service begin with Quality Thinking Donald C. Burr (Chairman, People Express Airlines, Inc.) once described how impressions made in one area can carry over to others when he said, "Coffee stains on the flip-down trays mean [to the passengers] that we do our engine maintenance wrong." If you want one year of prosperity, grow grain. If you want ten years of prosperity, grow trees. If you want one hundred years of prosperity, grow people. -- Chinese proverb -- The only way to have people change is because they choose to. You cannot force change onto people—not lasting change, not real change.  -- Carly Fiorina, chief executive of Hewlett-Packard -- Take away my people, but leave my factories, and soon grass will grow on the factory floors.  Take away my factories, but leave my people, and soon we will have a new and better factory. -- Andrew Carnegie -- I never did give them hell. I just told the truth, and they thought it was hell. -- Harry S Truman -- So much of what we call management consists in making it difficult for people to work. -- Peter Drucker --  Software Development     In software, there is no such thing as a “fluke” or a “glitch”. -- colleague, Nick I. -- The biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place. -- George Bernard Shaw -- Everything is vague to a degree you do not realize till you have tried to make it precise. -- Bertrand Russel -- The Curtis Creed: “F* 'em! Put it in production.” -- colleague, Curtis H. -- An undefined problem has an infinite number of solutions. -- Robert A. Humphrey -- The English language, complete with irony, satire, and sarcasm, has survived for centuries without smileys. Only the new crop of modern computer geeks finds it impossible to detect a joke that is not clearly labeled as such. -- Ray Shea -- Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning. -- Rich Cook -- Not even computers will replace committees, because committees buy computers. If a program is useful, it will have to be changed. In preparing for battle I have always found that plans are useless, but planning is indispensable. -- Dwight Eisenhower -- Stress:  The confusion created when the mind overrides the body's desire to choke the living daylights out of someone who desperately deserves it. The most overlooked advantage to owning a computer is that if they foul up there's no law against wacking them around a little. -- Joe Martin -- Poorly expressed problems lead to poorly executed remedies. -- Daniel Markham --
	Lifestyle     My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to 99 cents a can. That's almost $7.00 in dog money. -- Joe Weinstein  Politics is not a bad profession. If you succeed there are many rewards, if you disgrace yourself you can always write a book. -- Ronald Reagan  The best way to predict the future is to invent it. -- Alan Kay All the President is, is a glorified public relations man who spends his time flattering, kissing and kicking people to get them to do what they are supposed to do anyway. -- Harry S Truman The American economy is the eighth wonder of the world; the ninth is the economic ignorance of the American people. -- Arthur Levitt, former chair of the New York Stock Exchange There are no such things as applied sciences, only applications of science. -- Louis Pasteur Patience is a virtue that takes entirely too long to master. Despite his artistic pretensions, his sophistication and many accomplishments, man owes his existence to a six-inch layer of topsoil and the fact that it rains. If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You get another chance. I know humans will advance to be better people some day. I'm just trying to learn what those advancements are now so I can be that human before I die. -- Ornette Coleman A mistake isn't not knowing what to do, but forgetting to do something you know you don't want to forget. -- Ornette Coleman If you don't die, what would motivate us to do what we do? -- Ornette Coleman In case you're worried about what's going to become of the younger generation, it's going to grow up and start worrying about the younger generation. -- Roger Allen The most effective way to do it, is to do it. -- Amelia Earhart Character is what you have left when you've lost everything you can lose. -- Evan Esar If everything seems under control, you're not going fast enough.  -- Mario Andretti Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are. -- John Wooden Discipline yourself and others won't have to. -- John Wooden To have a right to do a thing is not at all the same as to be right in doing it. -- G. K. Chesterton How much easier it is to be critical than to be correct. -- Benjamin Disraeli It has been said that democracy is the worst form of government except all the others that have been tried. -- Sir Winston Churchill I'm glad I didn't have to fight in any war. I'm glad I didn't have to pick up a gun. I'm glad I didn't get killed or kill somebody. I hope my kids enjoy the same lack of manhood. -- Tom Hanks There are 10^11 stars in the galaxy. That used to be a huge number. But it's only a hundred billion. It's less than the national deficit! We used to call them astronomical numbers. Now we should call them economical numbers. -- Richard Feynman Any clod can have the facts, but having opinions is an art. -- Charles McCabe On account of being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only nation in the world that has to keep a government four years, no matter what it does. -- Will Rogers It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either of them. -- Mark Twain Tact is the knack of making a point without making an enemy. -- Isasc Newton We are continually faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as insoluble problems. -- John W. Gardner	Humorous     You only need two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape.  If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape. When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty. How inappropriate to call this planet earth ... as clearly it is ocean! Remember, there is no way you can look as bad as that person on your driver's license I'm all for technology, even if it sometimes comes at the expense of inconveniencing elk. -- Brad Stine -- Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye. -- Miss Piggy -- Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he'll buy a funny hat. Talk to a hungry man about fish, and you're a consultant.  -- Scott Adams -- Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there. --Will Rogers -- Those who think they know everything are nothing but an irritation to those of us who do. Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together... --Carl Zwanzig-- Am I gonna tell them?  No, I'm not going to tell them.  I don't see the point of that.  As a doctor, you would not tell a patient if they had cancer. -- Michael Scott, on downsizing { the office } -- It takes hundreds of nuts to hold a car together, but it takes only one of them to scatter it all over the highway. -- Evan Esar -- Sometimes the appropriate response to reality is to go insane. -- Philip K. Dick -- If the English language made any sense, a catastrophe would be an apostrophe with fur. -- Doug Larson -- It's kind of fun to do the impossible. -- Walt Disney -- PUT means to place a thing  where you want it. PUTT means merely a vain attempt to do the same  thing. A "gimme" can best be defined as an agreement between two golfers ... neither of  whom can putt very well. I go to school but I never learn what I want to know. -- Calvin (of 'Calvin and Hobbes') --